Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Spring Cleaning At Superior St.


That's right, it's Spring and the temps are FINALLY starting to hit the high double-digits in our fair city. There's no place better to be in the whole wide world than Chicago in spring-time. Of course, as the weather gets warmer and the halls of Superior St. heat up, you may start noticing some foul emanations from neighboring rooms...

Of course, this can all be avoided by taking a few moments before your next rehearsal to dispose of any trash that may have gathered during the cold winter months. The extra little bit of care you show will be greatly appreciated by your neighbors and they, in kind, will return the favor.

To get you started in the right direction, we offer you...

Five Spring Cleaning Tips for Rockers!

1. Instead of placing a Stick-Up deodorizer on that stack of pizza boxes, throw away the stack of pizza boxes. Then place the Stick-Up on or near the drummer.

2. Don't just throw a rug over that Pabst Blue Ribbon spill. A handful of paper towels will work wonders on removing spills and the money you'd have spent on an ugly rug can be put towards more Pabst Blue Ribbon!

3. If you and the rest of the band decide to indulge in some hearty Mexican food before rehearsal, do us all a favor and pick up a can of Glade air freshener on your way to your practice space. When someone toots, another one shoots a shot of Glade. The end result is a whole lot of flowery goodness rather than a mish-mash of ass gas.

4. In a pinch, an old gig poster makes for a great Magyver-style dustpan for your weekly - yes, WEEKLY - sweeping of the floor. An actual dustpan will also work, but those cost money.

5. Two words: trash can. That's right, "trash can". By installing one of these state-of-the-art trash recepticles in your space, you can foster a sense of unity in regard to maintaining a clean and safe place to rock out with your cock out.

One More Day Until Knox Avenue Grand Opening!


The highly-anticipated opening of the Knox Avenue facility is fast approaching and we continue to work on the finishing touches in anxious anticipation of hearing the first sounds of music in our newly-hallowed halls.

Bands who aspire to rehearse in a room where no other bands have rocked before will find a lot to like at Knox Avenue.

As if that weren't enough, we at Knox have come with what we think is a cool idea:

We are asking each band to name their room after a favorite location in song ("Strawberry Fields", "Our House", "Electric Avenue", you get the picture). We'll then provide the necessary signage to forever immortalize the name of the room.

Book your room now before all the good names are taken. :)

Wait, there's more!

The lease holder for each room will also have the honor of autographing one of the bricks at the front of the space. That way, after you go on to be a rich and famous rock star, people will come from miles around to gaze lovingly upon your silver Sharpie signature!

Still need more enticement?

This is just between you and me, but a noted Chicago luminary is in talks to bring a world-class recording studio to the Knox Avenue location. Just think, next time you want to hit the studio, you'll just walk down the hall.

We are all about convenience here at Knox.

So, what are you waiting for? Give us a call at 773-227-5550 and we'll be happy to show you to your room.

Monday, 22 March 2010

Superior Briefs...that's what she said.


A number of folks have been inquiring about recycling and, while we have something in the works that should be in place by the summer, please rest assured that our crew single-handedly separates recyclables from trash and takes said recyclables to the nearest recycling facility.

Anyone else have the chorus of Faith No More's "We Care A Lot" playing in their head?

In the "You Asked For It, You Got It" department, many requests have been made for hand sanitizer dispensers. We actually went out and bought a brand-new "APPROVED' stamp for this one because, well, the old one was kinda unsanitary. Ba dum bum. Keep an eye out for the dispensers, as they are "coming soon"!

Stay tuned for the results of our ever-popular annual survey, along with our responses to some of your requests and inquiries.

Knox Avenue Eyeing April Fools Day Launch...No Seriously!


Yep, things are taking shape at the brand-spanking-new Knox Avenue facility, with our first clients moving in on April 1. We are still working feverishly on all the finishing touches in hopes of creating something that's truly kick-ass and special. As of now, the place looks like something straight out of "The Shining" - which is cool, don't get me wrong - but will look even cooler with a coat of paint, some pimped-out restrooms, and a vending machine or two stuffed with all the necessities (dunno about condoms and KY jelly, but we can definitely work up some Cheetoh's and Clark bars).

Did we mention that we're running a "smashing" Move-In Special? That's right, the first 30 folks to sign a lease will get a free bottle of Three Floyds. Must be 21, of course. Sorry Hanson. Wait, those guys are all 21 by now, what were we thinking?

Also, as if that weren't cool enough, we're also running an "All About The Benjamins" referral special. By referring a band to us, if said band mentions that you sent them when they ink the lease, you will get $100 of your next month's rent. Think of how much Three Floyds that will buy.

Burp!